All spermed up, as they say.

It was another whirlwind of an insemination weekend.

"This is your second try?" asked the saccharine sweet sperm bank lady, like she was talking to a hopeful bride or something. I just rolled my eyes and took the tank from her. It's getting to where I can just barely squeeze out the door of that place for under $1,000.

I had a little time to feel the ocean tides Saturday morning while communing with my own body's rhythmic ovarian pulses. This is because my wife and I are currently surrounded by queer women of color making movies. Artistic collaboration is a magical thing.

And the sex was hot all weekend too--a sure sign that we were at least close to the days I was ovulating.

But most exciting was our first ever at-home DIY IUI. For the uninitiated, this means that we've gone outside the controls of the medical establishment and performed a minor procedure in our living room. (Take THAT!)

Intra-uterine-insemination (IUI) places washed sperm up inside the uterus rather than just in the vagina, giving the fellas an elevator lift to get their frozen, sluggish tails a little closer to their goal. We used a long catheter we bought from the midwife who performed H's home IUI last year. H was a real professional, maintaining a rock solid sterile field and feeding the tiny tube into my cervical os. The thing you have to be careful about is putting the catheter in far enough to really get all those spermies into the uterus but not so far as to poke the uterus in pokey, dangerous ways. We were understandably nervous about getting this right.

But I'm a professional too. Once H fed that teensy tube into my ovulating cervical os, I focused my breath into my uterus, told myself I was a big, expanding universe of a pregnant mom, and literally inhaled the catheter 5 centimeters into my uterus. Seriously. H said she didn't have to push at all--she just watched me pull it in. There is great power in knowing your body, ladies!

I had some very very minor spamps (the cramps caused by sperm) and felt pretty tired all day, but today I feel knocked up.

I hope to be a more dedicated blogger to keep myself distracted during the two week wait. So keep tuning in!